Once upon a time (like...3 days ago) two caballos traveled across the George Washington Bridge at the speed of two donkeys with hemorrhoids. The horses, which carried two men, backed up traffic all the way to the pueblos of Philadelphia where stray dogs now live in terror for some strange reason.
Dan who rode one of the horses while sipping on Four Lokos looked back at Jason who occupied the other horse and says "These people look angry at us, compai. Why do you think?"
"No, no. I think cabrone and pendejo are words of affection to these people." replies Jason.
"Ah, tato, loco. I guess that explains the little girl in the Dodge Caravan who's been putting up the number one sign with her finger to me for the past 3 miles."
"Perhaps you have a fan, compai...But be careful. The legal consensual age here is 17...As opposed to our mother land of Puerto Rico which lives by the "Don't ask/Don't tell" approach" says Jason.
Dan laughs and says "Perhaps every state should adapt our tiny common wealth's approach"
"Perhaps" replies Jason.
The two man finally arrive on the Manhattan end of the bridge and are greeted by local media (AKA NY 1 News and Telemundo)
A reporter shouts out to the men "Gentlemen, what is your purpose here in New York City?"
Jason dismounts his horse and looks square into the camera. "Funny you should ask, funny looking person. We are here to bring a whole new twist to the blogging world. Whenever a NFL quarterback gets accused of rape and then gets engaged 7 months later...we will blog about it. Whenever a woman traps a man by getting pregnant on purpose...we will blog about it. Whenever we come across the worlds greatest pernil sandwhich...we will blog about it" says Jason
"We're also here to franchise a few bodegas, dispute all that your mayor does and most importantly...we are here to re-legalize Four Lokos beverage"
Jason mounts his horse and the two men ride off into the sunset through Washington Heights, through Harlem and into Spanish Harlem where they stop off at a local cuchifritos.
3 and a half Cuban sandwiches and 8 Coronas later the two men emerge from the restaurant to find that their horses have been robbed by two tecatos.
"Well, compai." says Jason "Atleast we now know what we're up against. We should take the train"
"At those prices? I don't think so" says Dan
The two men are later arrested for skipping out on cab fare.
The End.
No comments:
Post a Comment